


Finding Home

by Anonymous



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Background Clonecest, F/M, First Time, background Jesse/Kix, lack of privacy, minor exhibitionism, minor voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ahsoka looks at the stars, wondering which one is home. Rex shows her that maybe home isn't as far away as she thinks.
Relationships: CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 20
Kudos: 265
Collections: Anonymous, May the 4th Be With You Star Wars Fanworks Exchange 2020





	Finding Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [countessofbiscuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/countessofbiscuit/gifts).



> For Biscuit, who deserves something sweet after the emotional pain of season 7.

Ahsoka perched on the edge of the LAAT/i’s open side hatch, her knees tucked up under her chin against the cool night air, and looked up at the stars. 

There were so many of them, tens of thousands, clustered in unfamiliar constellations. She couldn’t put a name to a single one. Maybe Coruscant was up there somewhere, or Shili, tiny specks impossibly far away, but there was no way to tell, no way to know if anyone out there was looking up at the pinprick of light coming off the star she herself was orbiting and thinking of her right now. If anyone even remembered what day it was, back home. 

Back home. 

She wasn’t sure where home was, anymore. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in her bed back at the Temple dormitories, and her quarters on the _Resolute_ , which had contained the bag of clothes that was all she really owned and the datapad with Mirialan poetry Barriss had pressed into her hand as she boarded the GAR transport to Christophsis, had been lost with the ship over the skies of Sullust. 

Barriss had written some of those poems herself. Ahsoka had been too busy to read them, and now she never would.

She felt suddenly homesick. Out here, on the outside of the defensive perimeter, with all the larties shut down and most of the troopers asleep in their bedrolls, she felt suddenly so terribly young, and afraid, and alone. 

Well, not _so_ young. The planet’s diurnal cycle didn’t sync up with Republic Standard, so she hadn’t realised it until she’d checked her chrono just a few minutes ago, but on Coruscant the date had already changed, ticked over while they’d been busy fighting for their lives. She hadn’t even thought about it. It’d just been another day, another battle in the war, another handful of bruises and a scrape along her cheekbone that might turn into a scar. The only thing anyone had given her today, and it was from the Separatists. 

Happy kriffing birthday.

It shouldn’t matter. It didn’t. It wasn’t like the clones got to celebrate their birthdays, or even _had_ birthdays. In a couple of hours hers would be over too, and it’d be just another night on another hostile planet thousands of light-years away from anyone who cared about stupid birthdays.

All she had to do was sit here, and look up at the stars, and not think about home, wherever it was.

Somebody came around the rear end of the larty, footsteps slowing as he ducked under the tail-mounted cannon. Ducked _carefully_ ; that at least made her smile.

“Commander Tano, you here?” Rex called softly. He knew exactly where she was, of course. In his HUD’s night-vision mode, she’d be glowing brightly, a white-hot sun against the background heat-traces of the larty’s cooling engines and the empty desert around them. He was being clone-polite, offering her privacy if she wanted it. 

She did, but she’d never ignore Rex, not even on a bad day. “I'm here.”

Rex exhaled, a relieved sigh he probably hadn’t meant for his annunciator to pick up, and came over to lean against the fuselage next to her. He popped open the seal on his helmet and lifted it off, scratching at his hair with the other hand. Ahsoka saw him shiver a little as the night air crept into his temperature-regulated bodysuit.

“You alright, sir?” he asked.

She snorted at his formality. “‘Sir’? What happened to ‘experience outranks everything’?”

Rex tucked down his chin, which she knew meant he was smiling and trying to hide it. “Well, I suppose you’re marginally more experienced now than when we first met. And you’re officially in charge while General Skywalker is… indisposed.”

Suffering the consequences of his own carelessness, more like. “How is Anakin?”

This time Rex didn’t bother hiding his grin. “Fine. Sleeping off whatever Kix jabbed him with and snoring like a bantha.”

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “Lucky bastard.”

“Can’t sleep?” Rex sat down next to her, close enough to nudge her with his shoulder. “I’m sure Kix has another hypo lying around somewhere, and I _know_ he loves harassing officers. He’d welcome the chance.”

Ahsoka shook her head. Kix was never more than three feet away from his medpack with GAR-issue painkillers and depressants to counter the combat stims, and it probably also contained enough illegal soporifics for easing nightmares to land him in serious trouble if his superiors ever bothered to check his stash, but asking him for any of them would mean having to look him in the eyes after she’d almost gotten Jesse killed, and she couldn’t do that. Not yet. Not until her birthday was officially over, so she wouldn’t have to think about the disappointment on his face every year when the date came around. 

“I’m fine, Rex,” she said, even though she knew he could tell when she was lying. He didn’t have a Jedi’s connection to the Force, but he was still too damn perceptive for her to hide anything from him. Sometimes she felt like he could actually read her mind. That was probably why he’d come searching for her, knowing she’d be hiding out here. She sighed. “Just looking at the stars.”

“Here.” He leaned in close, slipping his arm around her shoulders. His other hand went on her forearm, lifting it up straight so they could both sight down the line of it, like he was teaching her how to aim a blaster all over again. His hand slipped down to gently cradle hers, pointing it at a tiny glimmer of light above. 

“That’s Coruscant,” he said softly, right next to her montral. She felt the warm puff of his breath against her skin. “Chrystophsis. Teth. Gwori. Queel. Naboo.” For each name, he guided her hand into a new position, weaving a path across the sky. She realised she knew each name before he spoke it; every one was a battlefield they’ve fought on together. 

“How—?” she asked.

“Star map on my HUD. I looked them up while I was doing the rounds,” he said. She could hear the smile in his voice. “I like knowing where I’ve been. Makes me appreciate how far I’ve come.”

“Which one is Kamino?”

“None of them. It’s too far away, the light doesn’t reach here.”

“I guess we’re both pretty far from home, huh.”

Rex shrugged. “Not really. My home isn’t out there. It’s here, with my brothers. With you and Skywalker.” He let their arms drop, but he didn’t let go of her hand. 

Ahsoka couldn’t help it. She leaned into his embrace, tucking herself up against his side.

He looked down at her, concerned. “Are you cold?”

“It’s fine.”

“You going to tell me why you’re actually out here?”

She sighed again. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”

“Try me.”

“It’s just. It’s my birthday.”

Rex didn’t say anything. She dared to glance up at him, and realised he was waiting, with a slight frown, for her to elaborate. He didn’t get it. Maybe he’d never even heard of birthdays before.

“A birthday is supposed to be _special,_ ” she said. “It's a day for celebrating with your friends, having a good time. But instead we got ambushed, Jesse got shot, I wasn’t there when Anakin needed me—” They’d come so close to disaster. If Rex hadn’t been so kriffing amazing, if they didn’t have Kix and his quick hands with the tourniquets and bacta-spray, if they hadn’t been _lucky_ , someone could’ve been dead. All of them could’ve been dead.

Rex squeezed her hand. “Hey. Nobody died. We did what we came to do, mission accomplished. The Seppies won’t be back in this system anytime soon, that’s for sure. And nobody’s blaming you for Jesse either, so stop blaming yourself. It was his own damn fault, showing off because he thinks being an idiot’ll make me recc him for ARC training. He’s fine, all he needed was a bacta patch. The slap Kix gave him ‘round the head probably hurt worse than that tiny ding. And General Skywalker only got himself electrocuted once, that’s practically a new record.” He grinned. “All in all, I put that down as a solid win.” He turned his vambrace over to show her the fresh line scratched into the paint.

Ahsoka breathed out slowly, feeling something unclench in her chest. “I guess it could be worse.”

“Could be a lot worse. You did great, got us all through it when the general went down. Saved my shebs.” He nudged her again and winked at her. “I guess that was your birthday gift to me.”

She nudged him right back. “That’s not how birthdays work. You’re supposed to _get_ gifts on your birthday, not _give_ them.”

“Well, I got a new mark. So maybe it’s my birthday too.”

She made a rude noise and stuck her tongue out at him. “It’s not your birthday.”

“You don’t know that. It could be.”

“You don’t _have_ a birthday, Rex.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s today.”

“You know what? If you want to share my shitty, stupid birthday, be my guest. Happy birthday, Rex.”

“Happy birthday, Ahsoka,” he said, and this time his voice was as soft as the smile on his face. 

She felt her heart flutter. “So do I get a birthday gift too, or what?” she asked.

“Well, that’s how birthdays work, right? Celebrating with your friends?”

Rex’s hand came up to touch her cheek, tilting her head back so her could meet her gaze. Ahsoka shivered a little. Not so much because it was cold out here, but because Rex was looking so intently at her, like he was studying all the secret parts of her. She didn’t dare breathe. And then he leaned in, and she shifted toward him, meeting him halfway.

It wasn’t the first kiss of her life, and it wasn’t the best either. They both had chapped lips from the dry desert air, and Rex’s armour was jammed awkwardly between them, the blunt edge of his pauldron digging into her lek. But it was a kiss, and a kiss with Rex. Amazingly competent Rex, who cared about her, probably more than any other person had cared about her since she left Shili. Anakin was her master, Obi-Wan her mentor, and Plo Koon was as close to a father as she'd ever known, but Rex was her friend, her best friend. The guy who’d been next to her on every battlefield since Christophsis, who’d come out to watch the stars with her tonight when he had to be just as exhausted as she was, when he had half a company of troopers and an injured general to worry about. 

She couldn’t remember the last time someone had touched her so gently.

They broke apart, both of them drawing in a breath. Ahsoka licked her lips. Rex’s mouth curled into a smile, bright and uncomplicated. He looked happier than she’d seen him in a long, long time.

Ahsoka couldn’t help it. She had to kiss him again. 

This time, there was nothing innocent about it. Ahsoka felt the shudder of an inhalation pass through Rex when she pressed their lips together, slicker and wetter now, and she nipped at Rex’s mouth until he growled deep in his chest and opened for her. Their tongues met, licking and teasing as they moved to find the right angle, deepening the kiss until it almost felt like they were fighting, conquering a new battlefield together, at the same time fiercely competitive and perfectly in synchrony. When they broke apart to breathe this time, Rex gave a soft groan like he was in physical pain and pressed his forehead against her akul-tooth headband, his eyes closed. 

“Are you sure you’re not cold?” he asked.

Ahsoka felt hot all over, flushed and feverish. There was no way Rex couldn’t tell, even through his gloves, how hot she was running for him. 

“Maybe I’m a little cold,” she said.

“Want me to hold you?”

“Or we could find somewhere warmer to do this.”

Rex's eyes blinked open and he pulled back to look at her, searching her expression.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. It’s my birthday, I want a gift.” For a moment, she was afraid she was asking for too much, that he’d find some excuse to turn her down. Maybe he'd only meant for this to be a kiss, nothing more.

But he looked at her, all heat in his eyes. “All right, then. Come on.”

They went around the larty and ducked under the canvas cover strung out between the three transports that had carried them here and now formed part of the berm. Rex shared a nod with his brothers on guard duty, and Ahsoka took a last glance up at the stars before she followed Rex under the awning, stepping carefully between sleeping troopers. Some of them stirred slightly, veterans whose knife-edge survival instincts had been so honed by war that a passing shadow in the dark was enough to rouse them. Rex flicked a couple of quick hand-signs, _at ease_ and _safe_ , and the Force-signatures of the troopers around them stilled back into dreamless slumber.

Rex tossed her two folded-up sleeping bags from an open carry-crate and motioned for her to follow him to the spot he’d picked out for himself. By the time Ahsoka had figured out how to arrange the bags like some of the troopers had, two or three zipped together to let them share with their chosen brothers for warmth and comfort, Rex had already stripped off his armour and stacked it on his kama in ready-5 order with his blasters on top. She was a little disappointed; she would have liked to see him remove it, making himself vulnerable for her.

Then his hands were on her again, and he pulled her into another kiss, any lingering disappointment instantly forgotten as he brushed her cheeks with his thumbs, trailed his fingers over her markings. His hands, always clone-steady on his blasters, were quivering with adrenaline against her skin.

She had never seen him nervous like this before. It was sweet.

It was also a little weird kissing him when she knew they weren't alone. Her previous kisses had all been secret, furtive affairs in linen closets and behind the back shelves at the Temple library. Here she could reach out a hand and almost touch someone else.

Rex didn’t seem to notice or mind the brothers all around him. Clones were raised utterly without privacy, but they’d found ways to create private spaces for themselves. Ahsoka wasn’t entirely sure how it worked; as far as she could tell, brothers simply didn’t see what wasn’t meant for them to see. Most of the clones around them were silent and still, claimed by exhaustion. The few that were still awake turned their heads away, the slight pressure of their attention dissipating in the Force. She knew she ought to feel exposed, but all she felt was safe and protected by their presence.

“ _Now_ I want you to hold me,” she whispered in Rex’s ear. 

He did, folding the sleeping bags around them as he sat and pulled her down into his lap. His touches were careful, almost reverent, but the half-hard shape of his cock was unmistakable even through the thick fabric of his bodysuit. She rocked against him just to hear his breathing hitch, and the friction when she pressed her pubic bone down against the bulge in his blacks was so, so good. 

Force, she was slick already just from grinding against him.

She reached for his hand, lifting it like he’d held hers before when he’d pointed out the stars to her, and guided it to slip inside the waistband of her leggings. The angle wasn't the best, and for a moment he hesitated, unfamiliar with the terrain and the rules of engagement. Then his fingers slid down between her folds, and she breathed a soft moan as he curled two of them up into her.

His hands were so kriffing big, his fingers as strong and sure inside her now as they’d ever been on his deeces. She could come like this, just from him touching her. That was the furthest she’d ever gone with someone else, making out with a hand under each other’s tunics.

But today was her birthday and if this was the only present she was going to get, she wanted the whole kriffing package.

The top of his blacks had ridden up, exposing a wedge of skin. She pulled at his bodysuit until he unwrapped himself for her, pulling off the tight neoprene. She missed his fingers, but this was good too. His skin was smooth, dusted with soft hair over the hard planes of his muscles. She let her hand rest over the raised scar where he’d been shot on Saleucami, feeling the thumping of his heart.

This was celebrating, the way clones did it. Every breath they drew together, every beat of their heart in sync. _Still alive. Still here with you._

She leaned down and licked his nipple, just to hear him groan. Then he returned the favour, rucking up her tunic and bra so he could get his mouth on her, pressing kisses against the soft skin of her breasts, her stomach, the curve of her hip. She rose up on her knees so she could shove down her leggings for him, and he leaned in and tasted her before she'd even gotten them all the way off, teasing her with his tongue until she was panting and pulling at his hair.

His cock, when she pulled down the bottom of his blacks, curved up against his stomach hard and heavy, flushed with his need.

“Look at me, Rex,” she whispered.

He did. His eyes locked on hers, desperate, pleading. 

She reached down and let her fingertips lift him to the right angle, and then she sank down on him until slowly, impossibly, he fit fully inside her. For a moment, she couldn’t breathe, he filled her so much. Then the slight edge of pain faded until it was merely the ache of muscles stretched to the limits of endurance, and Rex let out the breath of air he’d been holding.

When she looked at him, his expression was that of a man who'd been thrown off a cliff and was only now realising how far he had to fall.

She cradled his face between her hands and kissed him, softly, before resting her brow against his. Tried to tell him, _I’ll catch you, Rex. When you fall, I’ll always catch you._

“Oya, sir!” someone crowed loudly, spoiling the moment.

“Shut up, Jesse,” Ahsoka and Rex both said in perfect unison, never breaking eye contact. 

The troopers of Torrent Company laughed, not a single one of them asleep or faking it anymore. There was a hard ‘oof!’ from Jesse, probably the result of Kix's elbow colliding with his ribs. 

Ahsoka felt the clones around her in the Force. Good-humoured envy at Rex’s luck, contentment at being curled up safe and warm with their brothers, stirring excitement. Not a hint of darkness, nothing of the pain and fear of a war zone. Rex was right. This was family. This was home. Not just his but hers too. 

She lifted her hips and sank back down, feeling him fill her again.

His hands on her hips were a wordless question. She grinned down at him, challenging: a promise. He grabbed her, thrusting up, claiming new territory. 

“Race you to the finish?” she asked, grinning down at him.

Rex's smirk matched hers. "Any time, commander."

She moved with him, and around her in the darkness others moved with them. Even through her own soft gasps, she could hear troopers shifting in their sleeping bags, small sounds of gription seams unzipping, murmured words between friends as they pulled at each other's bodysuits. To her left, a breathy moan. She looked over, a breach of privacy she’d never have allowed herself in another situation, and Jesse had rolled Kix over and was holding him down in a headlock, moving on top of him. Showing off again, maybe, but Kix didn't seem to mind this time; she could feel nothing from him except pure mindless bliss. Even as she was watching, Jesse leaned down and whispered something in Kix’s ear, and she warmed from the joy infusing Kix’s Force-signature. 

This wasn’t anything like she’d imagined her first time. She’d imagined it’d be in a bed, for one thing, with rose petals and candles, maybe a romantic holo-recording playing in the background. Then the war happened, and she’d stopped thinking about it at all.

But this was better, this was so much better than she’d ever dreamed. With Rex, her best friend, safer among his brothers than she’d felt for longer than she could remember. Nothing in the Force except happiness and pleasure. Love, she realised. Her love for Rex, his love for her, the love he shared with his brothers. 

It was so good she never wanted it to stop, even as she begged Rex, between kisses, for more, for his hands on her, his mouth on her lekku, and it was both too much and not enough. Orgasm hit her like a concussion blast, and it was all she could do to cling to Rex and gasp his name, his fingers digging into her hips as he thrust up into her and spent himself. Around them in the dark, his brothers followed his lead, finishing with strained groans, laughing quietly together after as they hunted for something to wipe their hands with or licked their fingers clean.

Above them, the stars twinkled, Coruscant and all the rest a thousand light-years away. Shili, Chrystophsis, Teth, Naboo— none of them home, just places she had been, stepping stones on the path leading here. To a cluster of larties on the edge of a combat zone, to the 501st around her, keeping her safe. To Rex at her side. Home. 

"Are you cold?" Rex asked.

Ahsoka laughed. "Just hold me," she said, snuggling up against him as he put his arm around her.

“Happy birthday, Ahsoka.”

"Happy birthday, Rex."


End file.
